Excitment and Routine

So far I've been bogged down with high volumes of work; however my first encounters with the local population have been only with the affluent and the garbage cleaners. However that being said there are hints of charm in this country even through the dust and cigarette smoke. Drinking bottomless glasses of Chai, it appears they are like anyone else; trying to find a dream, a place to call their own, a women to love or in my case maybe three. I won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister.

AROHA and MAHARO

So I've been to more Hawaiian shit here in Japan than ever in Hawaii which is just a tad bit ironic and maybe a little sad as well. Last weekend I headed over to Yokohama where my sister was performing with her hula halau. The event was the "Aloha Yokohama Festival" which was awesome. Basically all of Yokohama was simultaneously hosting different Hawaiian events which I'm sure culminated to a population MUCH LARGE THAN THAT OF HAWAII. Think about that for a second, Hawaii population = 1.5 million, Japanese people wearing tacky Hawaiian ripoffs in Yokohama = 10 BILLION. ridiculous. Anyway, here's my sister being a celebrity..



Then this week I was actually invited to judge, yes JUDGE a hula competition. What qualifications do I have to judge a hula competition? --> SHIT. That's right, none. So i told the guy (Greg san) 'Yo dude, I seriously don't know shit about Hula, I mean I enjoy it from time to time, but that's the full extent of my Hula fandom" To which he replied, "Bro, your from Hawaii. That's all they need to know." Touche Greg san. So I did that, pretended to look important and probably fucked over some very hardworking dancers in the process, yet nonetheless it was an awesome time. I also met this dude called "Niigata Rider" which I originally thought was like a paid marketing stunt, yet later came to find out hes just a cosplay man that likes taking pictures with kids. Awesome.

Hula dancers and "Niigata Rider".....wtf



Took some time to cruise by the river after, it was awe inspiring. I figure I should soak it up before the winter freezes it over and I'm comtemplating my suicide.

The Army

The Army is a very repressed place; fake tough guys walk around through the gaze of a stare down; not really knowing anything. People constantly talk about working out yet never do; it is truly a land of lost. However for those of us that know who we are, and what we are doing it becomes difficult to transcend the meatheads. I instead have focused on the things I can control i.e. "actually working out!" and my immediate relationships,it is these pursuits that leave me fulfilled in this land of the lost.

NIIGATA IN THE SUMMER

So ummm its been 15 days, 200 cigarettes and 6,000 shots of Sake or so in Niigata City, Japan. For those unfamiliar with the location (with which lack of knowledge you shouldn't feel bad about, since 90% of Japanese people in JAPAN are also un-fucking-aware of) its about 2 hours north of Tokyo by Shinkansen (white person translation = Bullet Train). A medium sized city, boasting a population of approximately 800,000 people, it's most famous for....rice. yep. Rice. The mundane side dish your sometimes forced to eat with your slices of spam or underneath your yoshinoya chicken bowls. Actually, since I've been here a new appreciation for the white grain has fondly grown in my subconcious munchie-onius region (scientific terms).

Heres a shot of the city from NEXT 21, the second largest building in downtown:



Some other Japanese-style Bullshit:


I dont think I was supposed to drink outta that

From Untitled Album

Buddhist hello kitty...quite inappropriate/blasphemous if you ask me, but hey--FUCK IT, we're in JAPAN BITCH.

From Untitled Album

Hopes and desires

From Untitled Album

More hopes that will forever go unanswered

From Untitled Album

Weird sidenote about Japanese internet, other then it being ass-kickingly hand-jerkingly fast, it forces you to the Japanese version of everything. All of the usual legitimate information resource pages: aka wikipedia, Google, newyorktimes.com, xtube, are instead replaced with their distant awkward asian cousin pages. So everything is in bullshit Kanji and what would usually be an annoying ad saying some shit like, "dude, no fucking joke this time, you are number 10,0000,0000,000,00,0,0,000!!!! Click HERE!!!", it's ads for miniature horse farms or see-thru bras, all in Japanese. Yep, now you know!

OK PEACE!

Iraq

"Dude you gotta slow down my eye balls are chapped" The words uttered by my peer Kyle Greer as we turned the corner on a long run. The conditions here to say the least are hot. The mission remains unclear; uncertainty in an uncertain time is all I have to expect. Our lives wind down to routine and waiting.

Kuwait

We arrived in Kuwait several days ago; my initial impression is what a shit hole this place is. Yesterday I attempted to masturbate in porta-potty however the heat was simply overwhelming leaving me flaccid and unfulfilled. What amazes me is the blatant attempt to Americanize the experience in order to offer comfort to uneasy minds of soldiers on there way into Iraq and Afghanistan. If KFC somehow soothes your psyche then your a loser; I find my own confidence lies within self knowledge and faith in my abilities.

The Night

Staring at the somber faces, both of families and soldiers my psyche is overwhelmed by the monumental responsibility of my position. The fight or flight response that should only last several minutes has remained with me throughout the day; leaving me with a mixture of anxiety and raw aggression. That being said I’m sure the only thing that awaits us is heat, sand, and endless hours of masturbation. With my own wiener as my best friend I do not feel alone.